When we found out that something was wrong with Max, our sweet friend, Meg, brought me a daily devotional called "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. She thought it would be helpful for us to read daily together and reflect upon. She was right! I cannot speak highly enough about this devotional. If you don't have it, you need to get it! It can apply to any situation and it will make you think totally differently about your life and your problems and the way you live your life. If you will give it a try, I promise it will change your life.
Here is today's devotion...
"I am a mighty God. Nothing is too difficult for Me. I have chosen to use weak ones like you to accomplish My purposes. Your weakness is designed to open you up to My power. Therefore, do not fear your limitations or measure the day's demands against your strength. What I require of you is to stay connected to Me, living in trusting dependence on My limitless resources. When you face unexpected demands, there is no need to panic. Remember that I am with you. Talk to Me, and listen while I talk you through each challenging situation. I am not a careless God. When I allow difficulties to come into your life, I equip you fully to handle them. Relax in My presence, trusting in My strength."
Luke 1:37; 2 Corinthians 12:9
Over these last few weeks, I have learned a lot of things about myself and Tyler. I have learned that I like to always be in control of every situation and that I like to plan every detail. Well, life just doesn't really work that way. I have learned that God has a purpose and a plan for us and I need to stop trying to control everything. It actually seems really silly that I always thought I had so much control over my life, because actually, I have no control at all. God is controlling it all. I just have to learn to let go and trust Him. I know that His plan for us is so much more important than my own.
It have really struggled with the fact that there is absolutely nothing I can do to make Max better. Tyler has to keep telling me that over and over again; and he's right. All we can do is pray, trust God, and wait. At first, that was extremely frustrating for me because, like I said, I like to control situations. I'm learning that I have to let go. Once I realized that, I felt such immediate relief. I realized we don't have to do this on our own. Now I do also want to mention that I do not always feel this way. I've had my fair share of angry moments and moments of extreme frustration and anxiety. But I have a very supportive husband, and awesome friends and family that keep reminding me of what I'm supposed to be focusing on. Mom and I talk about the daily reading almost everyday and she is constantly reminding me to just let go.
We know that God has chosen us to be Max's parents because we can handle his health issues (with His help). We will do whatever we need to do to get him the best care possible. It is amazing how much we love that little squirt already before we have even met him. I also wonder if maybe God led me into nursing as a profession so I would be better prepared to take care of Max. Just some thoughts.
Anyways, I would really suggest buying "Jesus Calling." If you already have it, buy it for someone else. It may be the best gift you could ever give them and it will only cost you about $12.
Thank you for your continued support and prayers!
Amy,
ReplyDeleteI received "Jesus Calling" as a birthday gift this year. I have been amazed that nearly every day it seemed as though the message was custom written for my life. I am so glad that Meg gave it to you. It will bring you so much peace.
Love,
Dawn
That is such a wonderful book. I think it is so easy to get in a daily devotional by reading the message for the day, then referencing the passages, then ending with a prayer. I agree with Dawn in that you really do feel everyday that it was written just for you. God did pick you guys to be Max's parents out of all the Mommies and Daddies in the world. He knew you were the ones that would be so blessed and be the best parents for Max. Isn't that such an amazing thing to realize? We are continuing to pray for Max daily.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Kelly
Dear Amy and Tyler
ReplyDeleteWe have a son who also has congenital complete heart block (due to Anti-ro antibody), diagnosed at 20 weeks in utero. His heart rate sat around 65. Although the months leading up to his birth were very difficult, he is now nearly 2 and is just the most beautiful, perfect little man you could ever imagine. Please know that we are praying for peace and strength for your family and for your precious little boy. If you want to touch base with some other mums and dads whose bubs have heart block, I can let you know the details if you post an email address.
All the very best,
Kirsten
Amy,
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite sayings is “Pain exposes our theology”. It sounds like you’re living that right now and finding on the other side a God that is far more of a best friend than you could have ever imagined. I’m proud of you and Tyler for not running the other direction, for entering in and taking the experience head on. I could say that I’m jealous, but then I’d be worried that God would hear me and offer me some more suffering. Ha. Thanks for sharing from the depths of your journey. It challenged me to ask for more of God as I read. Max will be so far better off with you as parents because of this painful road you guys are traveling.
Luke